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Office Hires Chinese Guy to Discourage Employees From Over-Using Ping Pong Table

at 2:38 pm | By

1995 World Table Tennis Champion hired by startup to improve efficiency.

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Alfonso Delgado, the CEO of a San Francisco based startup, has reportedly hired a Chinese guy to discourage employees from over using the ping pong table in the lunchroom.

Delgado, who heads the startup Pizzler, an app he describes as “Tinder for Pizza,” hired 1995 World Table Tennis Championship bronze medallist Ding Song on a freelance contract after one interoffice tournament ran well past 3 o’clock.

“I’m all for having a fun office,” the 26-year-old tech guru told reporters from the company’s sauna, “we spend a lot of money making this place cool, but last week, after we had organic, free range burrito bowls catered, most of our developers spent over 4 hours playing ping pong. That’s just not financially viable,” Delgado said before riding his company segway to a meeting held in an anti-gravity chamber.

Since Song’s arrival to the company, employees have cut their ping pong time in half. Though our numbers indicate the time spent playing Super Smash Brothers on the communal Wii, has more than tripled. A troubling trend Delgado will be sure to address, right after his visit to the staff masseuse.

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