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On Memorial Day, Local Teen Plans to Honor Lost Soldiers by Losing Her Cell Phone

at 4:33 pm | By

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This Memorial Day, local teen and EDM fan, plans to honor the lost soldiers of our country by losing her cellphone.

She also plans to honor the many men and women who fought tirelessly for our freedom by fighting with the doorman to a 21 and over bar/club called Bombers.

The 19-year-old high school senior (she was held back a year because her “math teacher was a jerk”), also plans to honor our men and women (many who held back enemies while starving in trenches) by gorging on vodka-soaked watermelon, eating chicken wings until passing out in a ditch (on molly) outside her best friend Corey’s summer home.

If all goes to plan, the overweight teen will then wake up and scream, “Happy Fourth of July,” on Tuesday, May 26th.