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Out of Breath Man Totally Regrets Listing “Hiking” as Hobby on OkCupid

Jul 28, 2015 at 11:58 am |

(Photo by iStock photo © amygdala_imagery)

(Photo by iStock photo © amygdala_imagery)

Smiling through the burn in his calves, sweaty, out-of-breath man Todd List told reporters he regretted listing “hiking” as an interest on his OkCupid profile. The 38-year-old List—who had completely sweat through his shirt, with the exception of two dry spots where his nipples were located—was on his first date with Jenny Grant, a local school teacher.

“Basically no girls had messaged me back in 6 months. When Jenny said she wanted to hang out and suggested hiking, I was too nervous about blowing it to say no, so I agreed. I should not have.”

Indeed, List spent the majority of his day periodically falling behind Ms. Grant and then sprinting to catch up with her, pathetically trying to make a connection before his doughy body failed him again.

At press time, List was walking Grant back to her car, where he planned on going in for a kiss. Reports indicate Grant was fully prepared to turn this attempt into an awkward hug.

Do you lie on your dating profile? SHARE if you do!

Todd was desperate, but not this desperate.

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