“I’m gonna tickle him with a knife!”
Pope Francis raised eyebrows after engaging in a shoving match with the Elmo at Times Square earlier this morning. The leader of the Catholic church was drawn into a physical altercation after Elmo repeatedly refused to pose with the Holy Father for a selfie.
Witnesses to the event recall the Pontif repeatedly asking Elmo if he knew who he was. The man inside the costume then allegedly told the Pope he would “get a selfie when [he] stops talking about global warming.”
All reports indicate the Pope then struck Elmo, punching directly through one of his false eyes. While other Bishops attempted to hold Francis back, one of his closest followers shouted “Turn the other cheek, Holy Father!.”
Francis then responded “the only other cheek I’m turning are elmos ass cheeks, after I put my foot in his ass.”
The altercation ended with the Pope standing over Elmo’s unconscious body, making a cross over him, and granting him “forgiveness for his ignorance.”
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