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Pope Gives Married Couples Hall Pass

at 4:24 pm | By
(Photo by shutterstock)

(Photo by shutterstock)

In a passionate speech ending his South American tour, Pope Francis said he would not use the teleprompter and go off the cuff. He then lit up a cigarette and said, “Listen. Life sucks and then you die. You might has well have fun. Jesus didn’t die for you to be perfect. We all have a lot of sinning to do.” The crowd erupted in cheers.

The Pope went on to say that we should push the traditional limits of marriage. “I mean, let’s get this out in the open. Guys are different. Am I right? We need a little variety,” the Pope laughed. Later in the speech, he even offered special prayer for those wives who embrace the arrangement of a “hall pass” but only once a year.

At which point, the Pope’s dealer showed up and he ended mass early.