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Proud Father Names Fantasy Team After Neglected Children

at 3:26 pm | By

Team in first place as child’s behavioral issues spiral out of control.


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After 3 and a half uninterrupted hours of tinkering with his lineups for the week, proud father of 3 Jeffrey Michel decided to name his fantasy football team after his kids.

“I got the idea for the name after my youngest, Johnny, sat outside the door of my office and begged me to play with him all day last Wednesday,” the sleep deprived 44 year old told reporters.

“I had to explain to him ‘Daddy didn’t take the day off work to play with you, silly! He’s gotta work on his fantasy team!’ Luckily, he eventually cried so long he tired himself out and fell asleep.” The middle aged man with very little to live for leaned back in his chair and laughed.

“I won that week and ever since that day, I knew I should honor my children by naming the thing I love and cherish most in the world, my fantasy team, after them.”

That week, Michel named his team “Johnny’s Tears.” The week before, his team was called “Chrissy’s Recital” after he missed his daughter’s ballet performance while spending an entire evening attempting to convince his friend Mark to trade him Rob Gronkowski at a local Buffalo Wild Wings.

Michel was already planning next year’s fantasy football draft party during his son’s 5th birthday party because, “everyone will be at Chuck E. Cheeses so the house will be nice and quiet.”

What does Mrs. Michel think of all this?

“Well, on one hand it’s very frustrating that he barely interacts with our children during the football season, but on the other hand, he’s so wrapped up in fantasy that he has no idea I’m sleeping with his friend Mark.”

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