News so real... it probably isn't

Report: Ponchos are Just Double-Sided Capes

at 6:42 pm | By

(Photo by iStock / a-wrangler)

(Photo by iStock / a-wrangler)

After years of research, the Association for Consumer Rights released a finding that rocked the sleeveless garment industry — Ponchos are just doubled sided capes. Simon Mercada, spokesman for the ACR released the following statement statement:

“Our findings prove once and for all that ponchos are in no way, shape, or form cool. They are just as lame as capes. Unless you are wearing them as part of a costume or as a joke you will be mocked and you will deserve it.”

This troubling finding has huge implications for all those that chose to wear ponchos non-ironically. The bro community, long admirers of sleeveless garments, had, in recent years, begun employing the poncho as a sort of fall and winter equivalent to the tank top. They are devastated.

The news has no affect on people that wear ponchos when it’s raining, as any individual who would choose a poncho over a respectable rain coat clearly does not care about looking ridiculous.

Share