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Report: Pope Always Goes Commando Under Those Robes

at 1:54 pm | By

The Pope lets ’em hang free!

the pope blessing some other guy

Credit: Nico_Campo/iStock

New information obtained by the Farce Report indicates that Pope Francis always goes commando under his robes.
An aide close to the leader of the Catholic church confirmed the news saying, “One time I was standing directly beneath him while he addressed a crowd of followers from a balcony. Let’s just say I saw the holy grail, if you catch my drift.” The aid then winked and raised his eyebrows up and down before continuing “His penis. When I said Holy Grail earlier I meant the pope’s dong.”

For his part, the Pope did not deny the claims. Instead, when asked about his lack of underwear he responded, “I got one question for you: WWJD? Here’s a hint, the answer isn’t wear boxer briefs.”

Pope Francis then removed his giant hat to retrieve a flask he had stashed underneath it. He took a swig of it and put on a pair of sunglasses before saying “Atheists and gays can get into Heaven now! We have to stop corporations! I’m the cool pope!” and skateboarding into the sunset.

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