While the winner of the Gordon E. Moore Award, Raymond Wang was awarded $75,000 for his science fair submission, Jesse Pinklin won nothing for his sad attempt at a science project. Intel sponsors the International Science and Engineering Fair to find young talent and award great ideas. While most students take their chance at a large award very seriously, Jesse Pinklin forgot about the fair until the night before, and the results are obvious.
“Pinklin’s dumb volcano didn’t even erupt or anything,” said one judge, “I wanted to smash the stupid thing and chuck it, and throw Jesse in the garbage. Really — what an idiot.”
The volcano, made from papier-mâché and glue, barely held together in the car ride over, admitted Jesse’s mom. “I tried to help him as much as possible, but knew he wasn’t going to win. My son is pathetic. I mean, his name is a girl’s name. What made it worse was that stupid smile on his face the whole time, like he actually accomplished something.”