News so real... it probably isn't

So America Saves France AGAIN

at 5:38 pm | By

“No surprise here!”


(Photo by shutterstock / Getty / KENZO TRIBOUILLARD)

Photo by shutterstock / Getty / KENZO TRIBOUILLARD

Well well well, look what we have here, looks like a nation of p*ssies needed three Americans to foil a terrorist attack. That’s right — by now you’ve probably heard about the three Americans that rushed a French terrorist, knocked the gun out of his hands and gave him a beating, U.S.A style. Well, you’re gonna hear about it again, because the point of this post is essentially to brag. Oh wow France, your police couldn’t do the job, you needed three Americans on vacation to help you out? Sounds a lot like World War II and ‘Nam if you ask me.

And how bout the actual terrorist? This stupid French muslim didn’t even know how to do a terrorist attack. If he were an American, he would’ve just shot up a movie theater, not a well lit train where people can see you cock your gun. Dummy. Either way, whether we’re talking about heroes or terrorists, or anything at all, America is better than France.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to figure out how to pay for the heart attack I had while uninsured. SHARE if you think Americans have some…balls?