Spray tans aren’t diverse enough.
The University of Alabama sorority Alpha Phi posted a video last week as a recruitment tool for new students. The YouTube video reached over 500,000 views before being criticized by the local Alabama newspaper for being ‘reductive and objectifying.’ And it’s true, the video portrays the sorority with the majority of skanks being white. A proper sorority should have skanks of all races.
Viewers of the video called it ‘ridiculous’ and ‘pathetic,’ and insisted if sororities like this were to continue, they need to house not just skanky white girls, but a whole plethora of hot, easy girls. From African-American bimbos to Indian floozies.
“It’s 2015, people,” said one enraged mother. “My daughter needs to learn how to become a trophy wife without an opinion for herself or any kind of prospects other than looking hot. But she needs to do that with a diverse group of skanks. Not just white girls. White girls are the worst.”
Jennifer Chin, who will begin attending Alabama in the fall, expressed her frustration, saying “It was always my dream to join a sorority like Alpha Phi. I’ve gone down on every starting quarterback from my high school. I’ve made 3 different fat girls cry just this week and I’ve lost track of the amount of nerds I’ve led on so they would do my homework. To think that I wouldn’t be accepted just because of what I look like makes me really upset.”
Alpha Phi has taken down the YouTube video and is preparing a new recruitment video which will include all types of skanks. It will show every nationality possible doing keg stands, shamelessly flaunting their bodies, and showing men how easy it would be to take advantage of all their sorority sisters.
Finally, a concept we can believe in! Can’t wait for the new video? SHARE this article to help encourage the girls to skank it up quicker!