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Stalker Proud He Can Still Fit Into Same Air Ducts He Did In High School

at 4:57 pm | By
 (Photo by iStock Serenethos)

(Photo by iStock Serenethos)

While laying flat on his stomach above the cafeteria at Catonsville High School, Bob Rackler felt proud that he could still fit into the same air ducts he did while attending the school. Rackler was visiting his alma mater as part of the class of 1985’s 30th reunion, which he was invited to accidentally, despite a number of restraining orders filed against him by former students. The 48-year-old wasted no time, climbing directly into the school’s HVAC system in hopes of catching a glimpse of his old crush, Anna Hess.

“Sure, maybe it’s a little bit of a tighter squeeze than it was 30 years ago, but hey – you show me another old man that hasn’t gained a few,” Rackler said with a laugh, before removing a pair of binoculars from a duffle bag that also included locks of Hess’s hair.

The fact that he has maintained a slim physique is a major source of pride for Rackler whose life has otherwise been a complete disappointment. At press time, Rackler was peering down the dress of a reunion attendee and breathing very heavily.