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The Generation We Raised To Feel Special Feels Special For Some Reason

at 10:55 am | By


millennials with bowties

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For some reason, Millennials, the generation currently blossoming into adulthood, seem to have inflated egos. Employers are finding it more and more difficult to get young people to accept roles as diminutive cogs in a corporate machine. Prone to a sense of exaggerated self-worth, young people today seem to think that there’s something special about them. But what could possibly be causing this?

“It’s bizarre,” says psychologist Edith Blumgold. “Young people today think that they’re special. That they don’t have to work as hard as everyone else. It’s almost as if they were told since early childhood that they could do whatever they wanted. That they actually were special. I mean they were, but you’re not supposed to take that kind of stuff seriously.”

Millennials have come a long way from their humble beginnings in Pre-K early start daycares, where each child was introduced to a limitless economy of stickers and compliments, seated in front of a purple dinosaur that told them they’re all important in their own way. Stumbling out of college into a world of massive debt and limited job availability, they can’t seem to shake the idea that they’re somehow better than other people and above a lifetime of monotonous office work.

“I mean yeah, we told Ben he could be whatever he wanted when he grew up,” says Michael Goldwater, a 63-year-old former electrician who recently had to re-enter the workforce as a Walmart greeter. “But we also told him Santa was real. He stopped believing in Santa. Why can’t he stop believing in himself?”

“Maybe its our fault,” says Goldwater. “Maybe if we had hugged him less he wouldn’t spend his time reading and writing think pieces about intentionally defaulting on loan debt.”

As for most Millennials, they don’t seemed phased. “As soon as my band gets a record contract, I can stop working at this Starbucks. I’m only doing it ironically, anyway, because I’m way better than this,” said one sad 29 year old.

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