News so real... it probably isn't

The NRA Knows Who the Real Culprit is in the Charleston Shooting

at 3:06 pm | By
man holding a gun

(Photo by Getty / KAREN BLEIER)

Charles Cotton, an NRA board member, blamed Wednesday night’s shooting in Charleston, South Carolina on Sen. Clementa Pinckney, a pastor who was killed in the attacks because Sen. Pinckney voted against legislation that would have allowed citizens to carry handguns in public spaces. Mr. Cotton made these comments on the Texas Concealed Handgun License Forum from his home office, where he was surrounded by pictures of guns wearing lipstick and dressed in ladies’ clothing.

In a follow up press conference, the board member went on to blame the state of marriage equality in this country as a main reason for the shooting. “You’re telling me a man and a man, or a woman and a woman can get married in this country, but a man and his gun can’t?” asked Cotton, while a group of confused reporters watched him caress a revolver.

The press conference was then cut short as Mr. Cotton had to be restrained while screaming “I want to sex up my guns! Why won’t anyone let me sex my guns?” and sobbing uncontrollably.