In the wake of the deadly terrorist attacks that took place in Paris last week, the hacking group “Anonymous” has promised war on ISIS — just as soon as their hot pockets have been thoroughly microwaved.
The activist group, which has garnered mainstream media attention by hacking other terrorist organizations such as the Klu Klux Klan and Church of Scientology, vows to destroy ISIS from within, but tells reporters they simply can’t do that on an empty stomach.
“We will bring justice to the victims of Paris, but first we need to try these new piping hot pepperoni pockets,” a pasty, 31-year-old IT guy behind a Guy Fawkes mask said into a web camera.
“We do not forgive, we do not forget, we do not touch the hot pocket until its properly cooled.”
For their part, the extremist organization does not appear scared of Anonymous, promising a preemptive attack on a Mountain Dew Code Red and Fleshlight factory.
Despite these treats, Anonymous is determined to press, on promising that “ISIS reign of terror will come to an end, after this episode of Inuyasha.”
Do you support Anonymous? SHARE this article!
Anonymous declares war on ISIS. But first…