It’s time to admit a hard truth: we all lie. I know it’s hard to swallow, but hey, we all do it, so we just have to get over it. What we really need to do is admit that we lie for good reasons. Some consider them white lies, while others consider them avoiding a big, fat fight. When it comes to relationships, we all need to tell those little white lies every once in awhile.
It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you care more than they know. Believe it or not, some people don’t want to know the truth, because the truth can hurt, and it’s unnecessary. Think about all the times you smiled and nodded at a boss you thought was completely incompetent, or told your grandmother you pray just to avoid a very AWKWARD conversation. You weren’t being malicious, you were keeping the peace.
So, men, while we just made the case for making it okay to lie to your girlfriend, there are only a small amount of reasons why you should actually do it. We came up with three perfectly OK reasons to lie to your girlfriend. Once you hear them, I think you’ll agree, that these are the only lies to tell.
1. When She Asks You If She Looks Fat
Okay, this is completely acceptable to say, “Absolutely not — you look terrific.”
Sure, she may have gained a few pounds, but everyone’s weight fluctuates, and if she feels good and you think she’s just as beautiful as ever, why would you ever say, “Yeah babe, you’re really rounding out at the hips.”
Hell, you may just think she looks fat. But here’s the thing, most women don’t need you to tell them the minute they ask. That’s typically when they’re feeling the most vulnerable, and what they really need is just a supportive boyfriend that reminds them how beautiful they are.
2. You Roundhouse Kicked Her Grandmother in the Face
Listen, it happens. Grandmas are sneaky, they’re little women shuffling around the house barely making sound. Of course you’re going to act fast, you took 14 years of karate and you’re a kickboxing regional champion. Your reflexes are like a cheetah’s.
When grandma comes behind you like that offering tea, what else could you do but make a fast action roundhouse kick to the face?
Of course, you’re not going to tell your girlfriend this, she’d be crushed. Instead, you give a little white lie. You say, “Babe, I was just about to grab a cup of tea when she just collapsed, and landing right on my shoe. That’s why there’s a Nike imprint on her cheek.”
Don’t worry, grandma won’t remember a thing, you knocked her out cold.
3. When You’re the Head of an International Organized Crime Organization and Don’t Want to Implicate Her
We don’t want to say you’re the don of a large mafia organization. We’re not saying that. Please don’t hurt us. BUT if you were part of an international organized crime organization, you’d want to leave your girlfriend out of that mess. If she knew, she could get in a lot of trouble. So obviously, when she asks where you’ve been all night, you can say, “None of your business woman, and if you ask me again, you’re gonna regret it. Big time, sweetie. Big time.”
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