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These Babies Are So Cute, If You Click This I’ll Kill Them

at 3:24 pm | By

It’ll be bloody.

two babies laughing

Credit: Marina Fritz

Welp, you did it. You clicked the link, you sick-o. Now I have to kill these babies. I didn’t want to, they’re darn cute babies. I know them, they’re pretty chill, too. But here it goes — I have to kill them. I said I would, and you didn’t listen.

Maybe I won’t. If you stop reading this right now, I’ll spare their lives. Maybe just cut off their hands.

Wow. You’re still reading this. Well, I warned you. I was just going to cut off their hands, but now I have to do it. I have to kill them. It’s a shame, too, because they were baby geniuses. Like, really smart babies. Like they were already talking and walking and using their hands to eat. But I guess that doesn’t matter, because you kept reading, even though I warned you of exactly what’d I do.

How about I give you another chance? Maybe if you stop now, just close your eyes and stop reading or I’ll only remove one leg from each of them. It’ll even be their bad leg. I know which leg is their good one, and I’ll spare it.

Jesus, dude, you’re f*cking sick. You’re still reading this. You don’t even care which leg is their good leg because you want these babies dead. Well, I tried, you know? I didn’t want to kill these babies. I wanted to see them grow up, learn to write, enjoy their life, get married, maybe have some kids of their own. That’s up to them though, they might be more career-focused. And they can be, that’s fine. I don’t need grand-kids. Did I mention I’m their Dad? Doesn’t matter anyway, I guess. They’re as good as dead now. Thanks, jerk.

Okay, one more chance. If you really want to keep these kids alive, SHARE this article.