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This Cat Can’t Wait to F*ck This Tree Up

at 2:51 pm | By

Another Thanksgiving has past, which means one thing, it’s time to decorate for the holidays. As mother pulls out the decorations, Dad is propping up the Christmas tree, the children preparing their ornaments, and of course, your cat Fluffy can’t wait to f*ck that tree up.

It happens every year, just after the lights are strung and the ornaments are placed quite deliberately, that damn cat comes by and messes everything up. First it’ll nibble on the needles, just to see what this new tree is all about. Then, when everyone is snuggled in bed, excited for the coming weeks of holiday cheer, that little b*tch of a cat will start pulling at the branches, eating the cords of the lights, and eventually knocking down the beautiful tree.

Of course Fluffy will cause a fire that will burn all the hair off its little body, and then, resent you for thinking it’s YOUR fault that this happened.

Even though it’s happened three years in a row, Fluffy will never learn. In fact, the cat is evermore excited this year to take that tree down. It’s a cat, for Christ’s sake, it doesn’t care.

The dummies here are you. Why do you have such a dumb cat? Should have let it burn that first year. Bury it and buy a fish.

SHARE this article if you agree! Happy Holidays, dummies.