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This New Fossil May Change Everything. Sorry, Christians…

at 4:41 pm | By

Archeologists in Egypt have found a series of artifacts that may prove, once and for all, that archeology is very boring.

mummy bones

Source: Instagram @afterlife_anatomy

Alphonse Mueller, head of the archeology department at the University of Dortmund had originally set out to Cairo in search of the burial place of Fukhankamen, one of the pharaohs of the 11th dynasty, known for his sexual prowess. Instead, he stumbled upon the tomb of Lamenkamen, the world’s first archeologist.

“At first we weren’t sure what we had uncovered, but then we read the inscription ‘Here lies Lamenkamen, collector of garbage from people that died a long time ago’ and I knew we had found the earliest known mention of an archeologist.”

Mueller, who has been boring people at parties since his time as a history major in college, also discovered a wall of hieroglyphics and Lamenkamen’s skeleton in the tomb. The hieroglyphics appear to depict a figure holding a bone in his hand, likely Lamenkamen, addressing a crowd of Egyptian nobility that all appear to have fallen asleep as a result of the delivered remarks.

The skeleton further proves archeology was not viewed as an exciting field in the ancient world. The pelvis bone of the proto-archeologist was in completely pristine shape, suggesting to researchers that he had almost no sex in his lifetime.

At press time, Mueller was preparing himself to return home and share his discovery with the few people in his life polite enough to pretend they were actually interested.

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