Reports out of the world’s leading fashion houses are all pointing to one hot new trend this winter: anything hot women are wearing. That’s right — this year, the fashion world is experimenting with a bold, new concept: clothes for super hot women.
The concept has been around for some time as clothing that looks good on attractive women—mainly leggings and tops that expose the midriff—have been widely accepted by uggos and fatties alike. This year, top designer Vincenzio Gayalini, plans on taking this idea even further.
“Because beautiful women look good in literally anything, instead of slaving over new concepts and designs, I’ve simply decided to throw a bunch of random, completely ridiculous items on the bodies of my models, and call that clothing,” Gayalini told reporters, while sunbathing nude in his villa, next to golden statue of himself.
“This year, my greatest idea shall be the lobster hat. I will put a lobster on a gorgeous woman’s head and within 6 months, I guarantee you ugly women will be buying lobster hat knock offs from H&M. Forever 21 will be selling crawfish caps in no time.”
Gayalini’s new line of clothing—tentatively titled “wear these dumb things and maybe you’ll be hot too, someday”— is due out next month and, in addition to the lobster hat, will feature hot women wrapped in trash bags, miniskirts made out of hastily sewn together dish towels, and oven mitts as shoes. The cheapest item in the collection, a scarf made out of glued together dog fur, carries a price tag of $213.
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Everyone will be wearing this!