Tinder has revealed a great new feature for all men and women who want to verify which celebrities have seen their photo, and have definitely swiped left. Verified accounts let celebrities, athletes, and other famous people prove it’s their actual account, so regular Joe schmoes like you can know for certain that you don’t have a chance in hell.
Previously, single bachelors and bachelorettes were finding photos of celebrities on Tinder and wondering if they were real. Miraculously they’d get a match and think, for once, their life was worth something. Unfortunately, they’d find out soon enough that the “celebrity” was just as ugly as they were, and just trying to receive any sort of attention.
“I matched with Lindsey Lohan and couldn’t be happier,” said one sad and lonely man named Damien. “I started chatting with her and she started asking me for a place to sleep for the night. She even offered sex in exchange for sandwiches. It was pretty disappointing to find out it was just someone pranking me.”
Many people have experienced similar situations. Unfortunately for Damien, that actually was Lindsey Lohan.
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