New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady made headlines last week after lashing out at Coca-Cola, calling the soda “poison for kids,” while accusing other food companies of lying to Americans in a recent press conference.
“You’ll probably go out and drink Coca-Cola and think, ‘Oh yeah, that’s no problem.’ Why? Because they pay lots of money for advertisements, so that they can sell Coca Cola to kids. That’s ridiculous. Coke is poison for kids. That’s why my kids drink Pepsi” the 3 time Super Bowl MVP told reporters, while taking off his Patriots beanie and replacing it with a Pepsi baseball cap.
“You see, what makes Pepsi different from other soft drink companies is that they care about the people that consume their products. The Pepsi Cola Corporation offers a full line of low and no calorie soft drinks, and even their regular drinks can be enjoyed, every once in awhile, as part of a healthy, balanced diet,” Brady smiled, took a swig of a wild cherry pepsi, and exhaled in satisfaction loudly.
“Wow, that’s good stuff,” the 38-year-old star quarterback said, before being interrupted as his young children swarmed him at the podium.
“Daddy, you’ve been at work too long, you promised you’d take us to the Pepsi factory today!” his 6-year-old son, Ben cried out.
His 3-year-old daughter, Vivian, then added “I wuv Pesi dada (sic),” as the entire press corps “awwed” in unison.
“Well guys, I’d love to stay, but these little tykes have been begging me to go the Pepsi factory for months,” Brady told reporters as his toddler tugged at his pant legs, adorably.
“Remember kids: Coke is Poison. Drink Pepsi”
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