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Traffic Jam Deemed Second Worst Jam After Apricot

at 10:00 am | By
Traffic jam vs apricot jam

Warning: Eating apricot jam in traffic jam may cause blackhole. (Photo by STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images)


In the land of jam, grape is king. But the order after that has been a sticky debate harder to get to the bottom of than a jar of frozen marmalade.

The Global Jam Association recently finished their bi-annual conclave at a reclusive castle in the French Alps, and the results were jarring.

Apricot’s decade long roll to the bottom of the basket continued as it was overtaken by traffic jams, a vehicular phenomenon that isn’t even in the jam family.

Strawberry regained its traditional 2nd place ranking after spending 4 years outside of the top 3. Rumors swirled that powerful berry alliances strong-armed their way back up the rankings, but new transparency laws made such comments ripe for dismissal.

Wine-flavored jam makers continued claims of bias against them, but most feel it’s just sour grapes from a perpetual bottom 3 jam.