“I could keep up the Trump pump if I had to…”
Donald Trump clarified the comments he made at last night’s GOP debate, telling reporters that, when he called fellow GOP candidate Carly Fiorina beautiful, what he meant was “she’s hot for a dried up old hag.”
“Look, Carly’s got no business being on television at her advanced age, and I would never bed a woman over the age of 37, but if I had to — and the very thought disgusts me — I guess I’d give her the ole Trump and Pump after 3 or 4 Strawberry Trumparitas.”
Trump then clarified that Trumparitas were margaritas that included the tears of immigrants, in addition to tequila and lime juice.
Other candidates denounced the real estate mogul-turned-politician’s comments.
“I think it’s deplorable that Donald Trump so crassly said it would take 3 alcoholic beverages to have sex with Ms. Fiorina,” Jeb Bush told reporters this morning. “We as a party are being held back by our misogyny, and besides, it would take one bud light tops for me to shimmy that little blue power suit right off her.”
Not to be outdone, when asked what he thought about Fiorina’s debate performance, Governor John Kasich simply replied by making a V shape with his index and middle fingers, and sticking his tongue through it.
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