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White House Admits to Lying About Bin Laden, Turns Out He Was a Pretty Chill Dude

at 9:32 am | By
Osama Bin Laden in sunglasses

(Photo by AFP/Getty images)

Recently Seymour Hersh accused the White House of lying about Pakistan’s involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden. While the White House National Security spokesman Ned Price has come forward in saying, “There are too many inaccuracies and baseless assertions in this piece to fact check each one…” He did admit something that the White House, in fact, was hiding.

“Many may not know,” said Ned Price, “Bin Laden was, actually, a pretty chill dude.” The White House spokesman continued by explaining that Bin Laden loved Dos Equis beer, “especially those awesome commercials with the most interesting man,” and “he loved to travel, was a big fan of mancala, and gave surfing lessons to less fortunate terrorists.”

Born to a billionaire family, Bin Laden had a lot of privilege to explore the world and discover his truest callings. While some of those callings included the most heinous crimes of the 21st century, others included playing flute in a free-form jazz vein and collecting Pez dispensers.