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Why is Syria Banning White Men from Attending Movie Theaters?

at 2:37 pm | By

White men commit over 90% of mass shootings — it’s just not worth the risk.


Credit: Creative Commons

Citing safety concerns, all operating movie theaters in Syria have decided to ban white men from attending their businesses. Theaters across Syria, having struggled to remain open throughout the bloody civil war that has gripped their nation for the last 4 years, have concluded that, allowing white male patrons into their establishments introduces too much risk into an already dangerous situation.

Majd Farsat, owner and operator of Cinema City, in Damascus, explained he had no personal issues with white men seeking to watch movies, but that banning them was merely “a safety issue.”

“Statistically speaking, white men commit over 90% of theater mass shootings and we simply cannot gamble with the lives of our customers,” Farsat said, adding, “I feel for the white men simply looking to watch a movie without the fear of becoming a victim of a madman, but to them I say: stay home and fight your mass shooters, don’t infect us with your violence.”

The move is being described as racist and anti-christian, by conservative republicans in the United States. A statement released by Texas Governor Gregg Abbott Tuesday condemned the ban saying, “As a Christian, I live by the Golden Rule: treat others the way you’d like to be treated. But clearly, they don’t live by those values in Syria.”

At press time, Syria was reportedly considering allowing some white men into their theaters, as long as they could prove they were “one of the good ones.”

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