OUTSIDE is_adminINSIDE is_adminPlanned Parenthood Defunded, Wire Hanger Sales Up | The Farce Report
News so real... it probably isn't

With Planned Parenthood Defunded, Wire Hanger Sales Skyrocket

at 5:23 pm | By

Dick Cheney Acquires Wire Hanger Factory

 

pregnant woman with wire hangers

Credit: Shutterstock.com

Market Analysts have predicted a sharp increase in the wire hanger market following the passing of a Republican bill to defund Planned Parenthood. These reports are consistent with the Wall Street Journal’s newest economic forecasts, which anticipate a sharp rise in the construction of very dangerous, steep staircases, as well as karate lessons that specifically target the stomach of a would-be attacker.

The Bill to defund planned parenthood is part of a larger set of Republican policies, better known as the “Get Them Back in the Kitchen” initiatives. Along with the defunding of Planned Parenthood, Ted Cruz has proposed a bill to replace math and science for girls with courses entitled “how to find and a man” and “opinion stifling.” Mike Huckabee, not to be outdone by his presidential rival, is advocating for the reclassification of all female orgasms as sodomy.

Happy to get women back in the kitchen? SHARE this article!

Share