News so real... it probably isn't

Youngest Son Confesses To Mom: “I Do Know Who Ate The Last Cookie”

at 12:33 pm | By
sad boy and his mean brother in the back

There’s younger brother Dan, what a dick. (Photo by Shutterstock)

Dan Smith finally confessed to his mother, Barb, that it was indeed his brother Mark who ate the last double-stuffed Oreo. Dan broke the code of silence which he and his six brothers live by.

In a move that will incur a number of swirlies and wet willies for years to come, Dan broke down yesterday, which was even a surprise to Barb. “Of course I’ll have to punish Mark. But I’m very disappointed in Dan. I didn’t raise snitches. I would punish Dan myself for being a rat, but I think the rest of the boys will take care of that.”